A&A: Um, Selfie Lice?

Pssst. Check the bottom of the post for the T-shirt giveaway winners!

Awkward...

▲ Apparently, selfies are causing lice.
▲ Discovered that "dongle" is a real, technological word. Refusing to acknowledge its existence.
▲ Last month a random guy at church stopped me in the hall and said, "Good luck in your search for a man." Well then. ...what?

▲ I decided to make Facebook poking vogue again (or at all). Facebook immediately suggested I poke three of my ex-boyfriends, and one of their best friends. #facebookyouidiot #gohomeyouredrunk

▲ Last month I got a letter informing me I needed to attend traffic school because I committed a moving civil traffic offense "while under 18 years of age." I mean I know I look young, but... 

▲ ...turns out it's because the ticket said my birth date is 1/1/14. I guess speeding isn't ok, but traffic school for newborns is permissible.

▲ Fairly certain that the hold music on a business conference call last week was a bad elevator instrumental version of "It's Getting Hot in Here." #what
▲ That one time when my oven tried to fight me and that other time when I made an inappropriate typo in my notes for a Sunday School lesson at church.

Awesome...
▲ I painted a chair.
▲ My friend's mom admitted she stole "some clever words" from one of my Instagram posts to use in her online dating profile. I have officially won life!
▲ Did you keep diaries when you were little? Remember when I shared some of my embarrassing childhood entries? Someone made a blog out of their 1992 diary and it makes my entire LIFE happy. It's like we were the same dramatic child.

▲ There is such a thing as ski ballet. Click that....shhhh, trust me.
▲ Last week on an escalator, a young man behind me with down syndrome turned to his mom and said, "I'm good at vocabulary. And I'm patient today." I feel good about a life where you can celebrate things like vocabulary and patience and feel like you've succeeded.
▲ This news story about a guy who was fired for using a forklift on a candy machine. I mean, we've all been there. #hangry
▲ These photos of an empty San Francisco are pretty bomb. Truthfully, I felt half calmed and half unsettled. Another half of me was salivating over all those open parking meters and no cops around to enforce them...
▲ The photos in this story about an elderly Japanese woman being inseparable with the stray cat she rescued are just...I cannot...YOU MUST GO LOOK. OK here's a preview:

And about that giveaway...

If your name is Alicia H., Laura H. or Natalie W., winner winner chicken dinner! And by chicken dinner, I mean we get matching shirts. Check your inbox for an email in the next little bit!