so, i'm not taylor swift.
i know, what?!
but seriously,
i can't go around talking openly about my dating life on my blog, because...
...well, that would be awkward and inappropriate,
because the boys i date have feelings and deserve their privacy.
maybe i should try writing not-so-vague songs and become a country superstar...?
[via]
but, specifics or not,
my dating life is straight-up nutty these days!
like, the activity level is off the charts.
which is so strangely abnormal for me, let's be real about this.
and lately,
the theme has been blasts from the past.
several boys from olden times have cropped back up again.
some of which,
things didn't go so well the first time around.
here's the thing about me:
i'm incredibly trusting.
remember my ever-buoyant sense of hope?
but i'm also smart,
so i don't jump into second chances without a lot of thought and frank communication.
curious for your thoughts:
have you ever tried for round 2 with someone?
thoughts on second chances?
funny enough,
t.swiz released a new song today and it's all freaky relevant to my life...
ponderous and frequently surprised these days,
katilda
23 comments:
Well I personally have never.... And can't ever see myself dating someone twice. BUT my aunt married her high school sweetheart after dumping him for an RM, both of them getting married and divorced and now they're living happily ever after. I dunno. I believe people change. But I also believe its easier to change when you aren't around the people you were with when you were different. Aka it's easy to fall into old habits. Good luck though!!
Katilda!! I've listened to that song all day today!!!
I vote yes for second chances, as long as old issues have been addressed!
I did once. And it reminded me why it ended poorly the first time. At first it was great. And then it sucked.
I'm married to my round 2 guy...20 years. It never would have worked the first time around. But we both grew up a bit and round 2 has been fabulous!
I am in your camp on this one, Hugart!
dude, your comment made me laugh out loud at my computer.
love this! thanks for sharing a hopeful story :)
i knew i liked you...
Interesting point about the not being around people you were with when you were different...i think it could totally make a difference if your physical circumstances/lifestyle have changed!
I have a crush on every boy.
Also, I've never tried the second chance thing. I think it depends on the original sitch. (Que Kim Possible music.)
you just blew my mind with too many amazing pop culture references.
I'm married to my round 2 guy. I refused to date him again (a while back) just on principle, because I assumed nothing would change, and I wasn't willing at the time to make myself grow up and get over certain things. A new relationship is definitely easier, but may not be the most correct choice. Now I'm happily married to him, and though our circumstances are totally different now, and we're forced to be mature and thoughtful, it's made all of our former problems totally insignificant. He's wonderful, and he is better than he was 4 years ago. So am I.
One guy I dated I'd never get back together with. He was amazing and wonderful and just awesome but we weren't compatible. The others, I'm not sure. They were pretty great in their own right, but some things would have to change and if they changed for me that would be bad. For me, no I don't see it with my guys, but that doesn't mean anything about yours.
Thanks for sharing your insights! I think it totally depends on if the people/circumstances have changed. I'm glad you decided to take the chance :)
I agree...I have past bf's where I would DEFINITELY so "no way," but others i'm more open to the idea. Totally depends.
Katie, let's face it. Your ex-boyfriends probably aren't reading your blog, as great as it is. That being said, I don't know if I should comment as your ex-boyfriend or as a marriage and a family therapist.
I'd tend to believe that there aren't set rules to dating. Everybody has their own unique way of finding that special someone. Some times you need three cracks at it to see whether its going to work or not :)
I thoroughly enjoyed writing this comment.
Also, boys don't have feelings, so you don't have to worry about hurting them :)
the irony of you commenting on this post is killing me, i got a good laugh out of it. i wasn't aware that boys didn't have feelings....but you're the MFT here, not me, so i guess we'll go with your knowledge!
I married my husband three years after Round No. 1. It took Round 2 and the right timing....and things just fell in place. I never would have guessed it...so give those blasts from the past a decent shot. Someday you may sit and laugh about it in your first little apartment together.
@Claudia...just read your comment after posting mine below. Same experience! Those Round No. 2s can catch you by surprise. For me, the second round was natural, simple, and the easiest choice I ever made. I couldn't see myself without him, and although there'd been oodles of love interests over the years, I was ready to give that up for something long-lasting. Glad it worked out for you, Claudia. Best wishes, Katie!
love this. i appreciate stories of times it actually works out for people :) you never can tell!
Aw yes... blast from the pasts. I've had a couple of those, and I'm definitely blunt and super open the next time around.
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