[the only relevance of this picture is that it is currently the profile pic of my co-star in today's blog content]
[...who am i kidding? when are the golden girls NOT relevant?]
these are the kinds of things that happen
on a daily basis, kids.
it's potentially out of control.
sept. 28
me:
my chicken nuggets are too spicey
it's making me sweat and say crazy things
and misspell spicy
she:
do you have some sauce to dull the spice?
me:
i'm drowning them in ranch
ain't doin nuttin
she:
geez! is it making your nose run?
me:
yessss
i'm weak
she:
my nose runs when i just say the word "spicy"
or when i don't say anything at all.
it just runs. perma-run.
me:
when you say nothing at all....
whole new meaning to that song now
she:
alison krauss had no idea what she was writing
so naive
me:
i bet she's never had a bad nostril day in her life
she:
and i hate her for that
but i still totally dig her songs
and voice, she's really quite wonderful
me:
yeah ok, props props
she's all, "i'm a good singer, i can be insensitive about other people's olfactory conditons"
jerk.
she:
you know, that's the first thing that happens to people when they get famous.
it's a curse, really
me:
michael jackson just got rid of his nose altogether
voldemort too!
what gives
she:
AND ashlee simpson almost did!
they know something we don't
me:
hilary duff's aim was off a little and she got rid of her cheeks
then again, she's never been the brightest crayon
she:
no. the most annoying? YES.
me:
makes movies in which she sings pop at a classical musical school and gets away with it? who knows how!
she:
AND falls in love with a hot guy there?
THERE ARE NO HOT GUYS IN MUSIC SCHOOL!
me:
he wasn't hot, he had weird hair
bleached tips?
post-90s?
she:
that's not hot?
i've been so blind
me:
FOR THE LOVE OF GORDO, KELS
she:
hahahaha no I'm stifling the laughter..
which are turning into tears
me:
you're lucky; mine's turning into snot
this conversation just came full circle
she:
all back to the nuggets.
that needs to be on a shirt
me:
i still have 5 to eat
I'M NOT READY
i've eaten 3 and i'm suffering
she:
HA! only 3?! were they dipped in that awful green spicy death asian stuff?
me:
wasabi?
no, that's for sushi
she:
wasabi sounds like the asians' name for the devil
isn't sushi the nugget of the sea?
me:
i......can't think of a single reason why it shouldn't be
she:
i think we just discovered something
i don't know what, but i feel like this conversation got really intellectual
me:
on that note, i'm ready to eat another nugget
she:
bon voyage
me:
it's sailing the sea of my esophagus
she:
that actually sounds super fun
me:
well....you're welcome any time
she:
how's she handlin'?
me:
swaying a little starboard but holding steady in the galleys
i can't do it
i can't eat the other 4
ABANDON SHIP
she:
none of us blame you, cap'n. you fought as long as you could
speaking of cap'ns. Did you know Cap'n Crunch's whole name is Cap'n Horatio Magellan Crunch?
me:
is it really?
can we call him Old Hor for short?
---------------------
...and that's all for today, kiddos.
trust me when i say,
i'm never going to grow out of conversations like this one.
p.s.
is it wrong to post more than one blog within a week with motifs of chicken nuggets and mucus? i'm going to go with a BigFatNo.
4 comments:
i. love. this. lol. can't. breathe.
Hahaha I laughed again when I read your Gordo comment. That kid. 'Nuff said.
I just died over "For the love of Gordo." I MISS that show!!!
Baha! You guys have the BEST conversations! I laughed the whole time I was reading this!! :]
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