writing: memoirs of a (potentially) difficult girlfriend

Note: I came back to read this piece recently, two years after the fact. It made me smile at how some of it is the same, but how much more of it is different. Even if it's not an accurate reflection of Current Me, I love having it here. It's fun to meet up with Old Me now and again.

here's the next piece in my new kick of sharing more of my personal writing on this blog. i'm still working on feeling brave about this whole thing...

so ummmm

enjoy!

(please)

(use your imagination and pretend this picture is remotely fitting for this post and i'm not just making up reasons to use it because i love it so much. yes, good job.)

(2)

to all whom it may concern...

fact: i know nothing about cars

i'll probably break mine, if you don't keep tabs on me

i also drop my phone a lot

that will need replacing, every now and again

i get really, really impatient with myself

but i'll get upset if you aren't patient with me

and ok i admit it,

i'm pretty sensitive

you might like to tease, but sometimes it might make me cry

sometimes i am grumpy

sometimes i stamp my feet when i'm upset

but keep in mind,

i forgive really quickly

because truthfully, i'm no good at fighting

i have a hard time making up my mind

i am not very independent

being a grown-up is really, really hard for me

and i might complain about it a lot

i might whine

and be negative

but really

it's because i'm scared

and sometimes i feel like a failure

and i just need you to tell me i'm not

sometimes i need you to let me vent

and not belittle me

never belittle me

don't critique me or criticize me

or tell me to suck it up

just teach me 

show me how to be better

yes, help me better

but tell me it's ok when i'm not good at everything

i dream big

bigger than i can keep up with

and you might be a realist

in fact, you'll probably need to be

but don't you crush my dreams

it's ok if you keep your feet on the ground

if mine can keep leaping

your two feet will be enough for the both of us, won't it?

i cry a lot

yes, i'm one of those weepy girls

but

i also laugh easily

really easily

and really loudly, sometimes

and just to be clear

i'm a bit cluttered

messy?

call it what you will

i don't like it any better than the next person

but

it is what it is.

also,

i pride myself on my honesty

i will always answer your questions fully & completely

i will lay it all out there, no holds barred

which may be a fault

when i sometimes feel so many things at once

causing even honesty to get a bit confusing

but at least

it is honest

and it is consistent

i might not be any good at paying the bills

but i'd be really good at holding you

and i might not have the answers

but i have kisses

and i can hold your face in my hands

and you can get lost in my hair

and the smell of the skin on my neck

and i can listen until 3am

even if i get a little sleepy

and fall asleep on your chest

i'm still there for you.

i (definitely) won't remember to call the power company

or (ever) return the library books on time

but i will remember your birthday

and your favorite tv shows and sports teams

and that book you always wanted to read

and your important days at work

and i will celebrate you

every day, i will celebrate you

with jumping hugs and compliments and your favorite dinners

i will celebrate every part of you

and i will write you love notes

and leave them everywhere

no really, everywhere

but you must always hold my hand in public

and you must make me feel important

and smart

and pretty

and capable

and,
spend. time. with. me.
come over after work or between classes
take me on your boring errands with you
let me sit by you while you get stuff done
i'll read my own book
and not be distracting, i promise...
just want to be with me as much as possible
and make sure i know it
or i might feel neglected

i'm not perfect
and i can't be everything

and i'm kind of really girly when it comes down to it

and maybe a little too needy and sensitive

but when i take

i will give

oh, i will give

yes i can't be everything

but i can make you my everything

and if i know that's all you need

then we can be happy, you and i

yes

we can be deliciously happy