love, actually

I was feeling romantic on a certain day this week (take a wild guess) and my thoughts turned to things of love. It didn't hurt that I spent some time in a bookstore on a drizzly san francisco day, carrying around a lovely rose that my valentine gifted to me (if you count H&M as my valentine, and if you count giving-it-to-me-cuz-i-bought-a-fabulous-skirt as a gift).

Anyway, as I was in my romantic state of mind, I figured it out. I figured love out.

For me, love is knowing what's important to somebody and treating it like it's important. It's being careful with each other's feelings, excited about each other's passions, and unfailingly encouraging of each other's dreams.

There's nothing that crushes me faster than when someone stifles my enthusiasm. There's no worse feeling than being so excited about something and having someone you care about shoot you down.

I see too much of this between lovers. There is too much belittling. Too much sneering. Too many condescending tones and eye rolls and "what do men know" and "you know how women are."

People in love have a unique capacity to hurt one another because they know the squishy parts of each other's hearts so well. Which also means, people in love have a unique capacity to be each other's best champions.

{found on etsy. i adore this banner.}

All i'm saying is...

If she loves coconut m&ms, pick some up at the store. If he plays soccer, go to all his games and yell the loudest. If she just wants to simply sit and look at the trees, simply sit and look with her. If he really loves james bond movies, have a marathon with him. If she gets so excited about planting a garden (even if she lacks a green thumb or two), let her take way too long to pick out seeds at the store and then spend all saturday planting them and then maybe finish planting them for her when she gets distracted or grumpy and wants to make you lemonade instead.

Yes, that's all. Take care of those squishy parts.