merriam webster

[song: #183, "bohemian like you" by the dandy warhols. dare you not to dig it.]

so you know those word verifications on the blog comments? ever seen one that makes you laugh?

a year or two ago, i started making up absurd definitions for these words every time i commented on my sister's blog.

this christmas, she presented me with a handmade gift ... a dictionary of my own made-up words. she even included relevant pictures with each word. aaaand secret bunnies hidden throughout. (i know, what an excellent sister i have!)

here i am looking at my new treasure:

(ignore my appearance. i just ran 7 miles. on christmas. yeah, i've become one of THOSE people.)

anyway, some samples from my own personal word-verification dictionary:

Alises: multiple illiterate people named Alice

Berelize: what the doctor does to the daddy bear when you don't want any more baby bears

Brontris: the species of dinosaur that roams in the nethermost cavities of the throat cavern leaving germs that cause sickness

Chowel: what an asian person dries off with

Colere: a disease that affected the natives when crayons were first introduced in the new world

Entriess: the secret door a man uses when arriving for a secret date with the French maid. nothing adulterous, of course. just secret.

Gar Pl: i am almost certain this had to have been a character on Fraggle Rock

Gravenom: a snack for zombies. nom nom nom.

Ingers: CLEARLY this is the name of the crazy Russian exchange student with long scary fingers and bangly jewelry who you wish would stop talking to your guy friends. clearly.

Inodaws: i'm not sure, but it has something to do w/ illegal breeding and in-laws

Leidl: CLEARLY the forgotten Von Trapp sister

Logral: a redneck activity that involves standing on a spinning tree in churning water. lawg-rawl

Mugloe: what happens when a non-wizard character on Harry Potter swallows a glow-worm

Nizeme: probably the name of someone Sayid would date. but then she would tragically die, wouldn't she? (Lost reference, for any nonbelievers out there. watch the first episode. you'll believe.)

Pheran: that chemical that makes boys like girls. also, what p-diddy will name his next child.

Spermine: let's not even go there

Spopag: i keep coming back to something involving a catheter. moving on...

Twori: sorry, but it has to be that character on the (2nd version of) senior year of Saved By the Bell...but with a speech impediment. now i've probably offended someone.

Tyisimp: wasn't she dating mr. tumnus?

Winocit: pronounced "Win-o-cit." it sounds like 'innocent' so it MUST be referring to Winnie (Wonder Years) during her pre-craziness at the roller rink with her older boyfriend phase

and there you have it.

p.s.
ask to look at the pictures next time you come over, if you're the type of friend that a) knows where i live and b) has a standing invitation to come over. not just some random blog stalker. you are not invited over.